Why different people have different personality (Personality development) -Psychology

So this article is for interested folks – who are searching the answer of question :- “why i am so emotional “or ” why i am always demotivated” or “why i am always angry” or why i easily trust on people and why my friend does not , why he is so emotionally strong

well this is true that every human has a different pattern of emotions , behaviour and thought and we gonna find out why ?

let me just start with a very practical situation we face in everyday life .

If you put a same condition , same problem in front of many people than different people respond differently to that condition it is actually there personality which is responsible for their action

Suppose someone attacks on someone , than if the person is of cool type personality he may forgive him and leave that matter but there can be an another person of angry type personality and he may counter him and may injure himself or the attacker

Well that is normal , different people respond differently even to same condition.

Let me make you aware – ” what does the personality mean ? “

so to keep things simple- Personality at a lower level includes Emotional pattern , Behavioural pattern and thought pattern of a particular person

Personality = Emotions pattern + Behavioural pattern +Thoughts pattern .

Let’s get back to the question – Why Different people have different personality ??

Well Listen to the answer very carefully :-

Personality of a person is actually driven by his Unconscious mind

Yes, it is actually your unconscious mind which drives your emotional, behavioural and thoughts pattern

Well before moving further , let me clear the concept of “Unconscious mind”

so as per Psychologist your mind has several layers of Consciousness , you know about consciousness in simple terms it means “aware” so Consciousness = aware

well Psychologist divides brain into three major layer :-

1. Conscious mind
2. Pre-Conscious mind
3. Unconscious mind

Understand this classification by the below diagram :-

The top most and very samll layer is your Conscious mind layer , Below it -> Pre-Conscious mind and the lowest but the biggest one – Unconscious mind.

So let us Discuss some of there basic function to actually increase our understanding about the functioning of brain

1)- Layer of Conscious mind – Now this portion stores the information regarding whatever you are aware . let me clear you this by some questions :-

• Do you know who you are ?
• Do you know where you are ? (home,college)
• Do you know what you are doing right now ? ( reading article , sleeping , eating)
• Do you know where your father is ?

So basically you knew the answers of the above question , because you were aware of them right now .

that is the work of conscious mind – so whatever you are aware about right now (in present time ) is stored in your conscious mind so no effort has to put by you to reach to the answer of those question

2)- Pre-Conscious mind :-Let’s learn about this layer now

Now let me change the Questions i asked you a little bit , Now answer these questions :-

1. You passed your 10th standard from which school ?
2. What is the name of your first college friend ?
3. How much marks did you obtained in NEET?

So were you able to answer those question . well it was easy isn’t but was it easier than those questions which i asked you in the conscious mind level topic ?

your answer would be NO! as you applied a very little or may be more effort to get the answer of question which is asked you in pre-conscious level topic while in Conscious mind topic questions you was able to answer all of them with almost no effort

Now understand the difference :-

When i asked you the question ;- “You passed your 10th standard from which school ?” you knew the answer but you were not aware of the answer at that present time or in simple words when you were about to read the question you were not thinking of your school name but when i asked you the question you answered it , because you were able to lift the answer from your pre-conscious mind with a little effort.

Now what i want you to tell is – the things which you are not aware (not thinking of them ) at the present time but you remember them are actually stored in your Pre-Conscious mind , Like the name of your school – it was stored in your pre-conscious mind and with a very little effort you were able to raise it from the pre-conscious level to conscious level

Ok ! i think you must be clear now that what your conscious mind stores and what your pre-conscious mind stores

Remember your Pre-Conscious layer of mind > Conscious mind layer .

3)– Unconscious mind – Now it’s time to talk about the big guy . it is biggest layer of our brain and mainly responsible for different personality

Now answer these Questions :-

1. Do you remember when you were 3 month old and your mother beated you once ?
2. Do you remember who used to frighten you when you were 1 year old ?

well i suppose most of you were not be able to answer those question but if you really remember by your memory than it was you pre-conscious mind but i am sure Majority was not able to answer those question

But why ? Why didn’t you answer those question

If your reply is – “I don’t remember as i was child at that time” than I would be replying to you no you are lying you are a lier .

The correct answer is – Your Conscious mind does not remember it , your Pre-conscious mind does not remember it but your Un-Conscious mind remember it

The only problem was – Your Unconscious mind is so vast and deep that you were not be able to pull that information from your unconscious mind to your conscious level

It is true that you can not just simply pull the information out from the unconscious mind with a simple effort , it need some special effort to pull those information from your unconscious mind .

Have you ever felt an incident in which when you were sleeping you had a dream in which you remembered a very old incident , a face that you have seen very far back in your life but when you wake up you do not remember everything but just have a basic idea that i remembered something very old , actually in sleeping you reached at sub-conscious gate and through that gate you were able to pull up some of your information from your unconscious mind and that was the special effort and you did not remember that dream after waking up as now you have returned back to Conscious level

Ever heard about Hypnosis in which an expert put you near to sleep and tell you to remember your past memories (must have seen in tv serials and movies )- it is a door to your old memories which your conscious and pre-conscious mind does not hold but your unconscious mind does.

Note – HYPNOSIS AND HELPING THE PERSON TO REMEMBER is based on the concept to make that person reach to the level of Sub-conscious mind . we will talk about it later

so Basically in short your Unconscious mind stores every incident of your life yes “EVERY” does not matter whether it happened few minutes back or at the day when you were born.

So what does the unconscious mind does by storing all those information if you can not pull them put to your Conscious level ,

SpOiLeR ALERT –  it actually stores those incident and and analyze them and learn from them and this is how it drives your personality

Ever heared that if a child is treated very harshly during its childhood than it spoils his entire life .. Child may be hopeless , less trusting , negative minded to people in his future , why it happens ?

So to give you a basic idea :- Harsh events that happened to him , every event is stored in unconscious mind and his mind analyses them and develops his thought pattern whether to trust people or not , whether to be hopeful or hopeless

How does brain analyses and how it forms our personality. Let’s understand it :-

There are many theories which tries to explain the development of personality but i will talking about the one of the best attempt that is – “Erik Erikson theory of personality development”

This theory is popularly known as “PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT THEORY”

This theory attempt to define how personality get developed on decision of brain when exposed to social world . we will talk about it in great detail .

Let’s begin:-

ERIK ERIKSON’S PSYCHOSOCIAL THEORY

Now let’s talk about life from a very begining stage . I am talking about when you were a child , a little baby who was fully dependent on his mother.

Now let’s talk about a condition

A baby is crying because he is very hungry and as he cries, mother respond to cry and breast feed him , this goes on for a very long time . These experiences are regularly being analyzed in his Un-conscious mind and Based on these experiences Mind Tries to take a Very “BIG DECISION” of TRUST or MISTRUST.

Let’s understand this concept by some examples :- take a case of baby as baby cries mother come to take care of him and if this goes for a very long time mind agrees to trust this women and this forms the very first block of his personality -TRUST. At that stage mother is whole world for the child if the mind agrees to TRUST that women then interestingly mind agrees to trust not just on that women but on whole entire world as due to proper care of his mother

Noticed that little children are so innocent you give whatever to them they take it easily or they trust you very easily so basically this gives us a hint that they have been treated in a very good way

Let’s just talk about another case in which a child at a very early stage does not get proper care of a mother what will happen to such child .

As the child cries –> no one come to feed him or take care of him and if this become regular , then the mind agrees to mistrust the world and these children usually do not trust very easily . think of those children who do not trust very easily you give them something they do not take it very easily . this shows that they had not been treated or taken care in a good way.

NOTE:- you might be thinking well that’s not true with me , let me tell you that Experiences changes your personality and you are old enough to have enough experience which had made you learn what’s wrong and what’s right i am talking about a little child with no experience who solely depends on mother at that stage the minds develop the very first block of personality –TRUST or MISTRUST

There is an another block of personality which get developed at this stage and that is “Hope” wanna know how that get developed

Let’s get back to that condition Baby cries –> mother come and take care —> Baby cries again —> mother again come , Baby cries again –> Mother get late due to some reason so at this stage babies keep on crying and when mother come and take care of him , baby stop crying

This experience of mother coming late is stored by your brain and being analyzed and Brain develop an another block of your personality -“HOPE”

See mother did not come for some time and then come to serve the baby now if this thing happens again when baby is crying and mother was again late, baby wait and mother again come and serve him , this experience is analyzed by brain and is concluded as ” waiting is worth” and develop a “HOPE” that my care taker will come .

See the Child who get well treated and so well that a care taker is available to 24 hours for them develop a personality – which does not have patience and hope .

Like think of a rich kid who ask for something and gets it as soon as he/she asks . so this provide him a personality of an impatient and hopeless person .Next time if they did not get that thing they asked for , they become impatient and out of control and that’s true because there mind has developed that kind of personality in their childhood .

So basically a balanced care develops a strong personality to a child

So this was all about TRUST VS MISTRUST and development of HOPE and Patience in the child

For a final finishing touch think of a case of a very poor child with no mother .

Baby cries –> No one is available to take care of him , Brain analyzes the situation and reach on decision of MISTRUST , hopelessnes and even to an extent that doing effort is just an waste so these kind of children generally are very reserved , hopeless , and fear to do an effort.

This was all about the very first stage there are lot more stages to discuss , stay updated

I WILL UPDATE THIS ARTICLE .

i hope you like the content .

–Signing off

Bhavesh saini